Love.
A noun and a verb, with currently 13 definitions in Merriam-Webster.
How can it mean so many different things to different people but still be universally understood?
Sometimes being in love feels like happiness, other times it causes depression. No matter what the type of relationship is, if one's feeling depressed based on their feelings for another person, then it's time to reevaluate. Does this person love me? Is this person in love with me? How can we improve our relationship? Should we improve our relationship? ....
I had to make a hard choice recently in terms of love. I love, still, a man who's been good to me. No, he's not perfect (but I'm not delusional, I'm not either), and there's many things I'd love to nitpick him about but in the grand scheme it would be silly to argue about the small stuff. Ultimately, religious views aren't small stuff to me and we had differing ones...very different. I ignored these for a long time, which may have been selfish, but when it came to the point where we were talking about marriage and houses more often I began to feel increasingly uncomfortable with these catastrophic differences.
How do I say yes to spending forever with someone who believes very differently than I about religion and the after life? How do I justify the heartache I'd put us both through for saying yes?
Do I not love him enough because I want to end it? Or does my wanting to end it to save us both heartache mean I really do love him? Could he change? Might we ever agree? Do I stick it out to see if he changes? Is it my job to change him or be the one who persistently encourages change because I think it's the better worldview?
Can I raise my child with someone who doesn't believe the same things I do? Would that make my child more likely to stray from what I think is right? Is it my job to worry about what my child chooses or is it my job just to raise him as I feel is right and hope I did well enough he'll make the "right" choice?
Will anyone ever love me like he does? Do I want to start allllllll over again when I've got someone who loves me and my son so much?
Why can't he just see the light?!?!?
Or am I the one who's wrong?
So many questions and I took a long time thinking about it all, but in the end chose to walk away from someone I love so dearly because I don't think it's fair to either of us that I choose pursuing us when I'm already questioning things...
It hurt my heart, and still does. I ate and ate and ate, because I don't have the best coping mechanisms. I cried, daily. I miss him every second. But somehow, I still feel I made the right choice.
So is it love when you walk away to save yourself from heartache and "what if's" or is it just self-love? Is one better than the other? I don't know, but I've learned the hard way to choose myself.
Self-love is so important. Self-care too.
So maybe be selfish, and maybe don't feel bad, but remember to be kind.
Choose love.
Choose hope.
→forwardspero
How can it mean so many different things to different people but still be universally understood?
Sometimes being in love feels like happiness, other times it causes depression. No matter what the type of relationship is, if one's feeling depressed based on their feelings for another person, then it's time to reevaluate. Does this person love me? Is this person in love with me? How can we improve our relationship? Should we improve our relationship? ....
I had to make a hard choice recently in terms of love. I love, still, a man who's been good to me. No, he's not perfect (but I'm not delusional, I'm not either), and there's many things I'd love to nitpick him about but in the grand scheme it would be silly to argue about the small stuff. Ultimately, religious views aren't small stuff to me and we had differing ones...very different. I ignored these for a long time, which may have been selfish, but when it came to the point where we were talking about marriage and houses more often I began to feel increasingly uncomfortable with these catastrophic differences.
How do I say yes to spending forever with someone who believes very differently than I about religion and the after life? How do I justify the heartache I'd put us both through for saying yes?
Do I not love him enough because I want to end it? Or does my wanting to end it to save us both heartache mean I really do love him? Could he change? Might we ever agree? Do I stick it out to see if he changes? Is it my job to change him or be the one who persistently encourages change because I think it's the better worldview?
Can I raise my child with someone who doesn't believe the same things I do? Would that make my child more likely to stray from what I think is right? Is it my job to worry about what my child chooses or is it my job just to raise him as I feel is right and hope I did well enough he'll make the "right" choice?
Will anyone ever love me like he does? Do I want to start allllllll over again when I've got someone who loves me and my son so much?
Why can't he just see the light?!?!?
Or am I the one who's wrong?
So many questions and I took a long time thinking about it all, but in the end chose to walk away from someone I love so dearly because I don't think it's fair to either of us that I choose pursuing us when I'm already questioning things...
It hurt my heart, and still does. I ate and ate and ate, because I don't have the best coping mechanisms. I cried, daily. I miss him every second. But somehow, I still feel I made the right choice.
So is it love when you walk away to save yourself from heartache and "what if's" or is it just self-love? Is one better than the other? I don't know, but I've learned the hard way to choose myself.
Self-love is so important. Self-care too.
So maybe be selfish, and maybe don't feel bad, but remember to be kind.
Choose love.
Choose hope.
→forwardspero
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